Only Time Will Tell

The day before I was to board a plane for Germany, I received a frantic and emotional phone call from a man who has worked for me for many years. He said he and his wife had a big argument and decided to break up their marriage.
Like so many other stories of matrimonial strife, this one has a complex and nuanced background, but what makes it peculiarly interesting is that the breaking point came in the guise of a serious violation of a central tenet of Thai culture.
Wishing to bring about reconciliation, I spoke to his wife by phone after hearing her husband's side of the story. She was so upset she could hardly speak, and I had trouble undertsanding her words for all the crying and sobbing.
The gist of what she said was that her husband had spoken very disrespectfully to her older sister.
In Thai culture, intentional disrespect and discourtesy is the ultimate insult, and when the target is an older person, especially an older relative, forgiveness is hard to imagine. The term for a defining element of our cultural fabric is "samma-karawa," meaning respect and courtesy towards one's elders.
I tried my best to calm both sides down and urged the man to acknowledge that he made a grievous error in the way he behaved and to sincerely apologize to the offended party.
While I was away the man had gone to see his wife's sister to apologize.
"What was your sister's reaction?" I asked his wife.
"She accepted his apology and said to him that she was giving him this one and only chance. There will be no second chance," she said.
"That's very good. An older person should be merciful," I replied.
"But his show of remorse and his apology may be a case of "nah wai hlan hlok" and I think that's what he was up to," she said.
This old Thai expression refers to insincerity and hypocrisy and translates to "showing respect in front while being deceptive behind the back". A two-faced person, that is.
Husband and wife have reconciled, but something tells me it will take a lot more than strict adherence to cutural ideals to keep this couple together for the long haul.
Then again, who am I to say anyway.
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Photo location: Bang Saphan Noi